Okay.  Fine.  I was curious how bad this could possibly be.  Seven seconds into the movie we get this:

This is Chris Rock’s character as a 12 or 13 year old boy.  He is the black friend.  But he doesn’t play basketball well.  Get it?  Hey come on.  While writing a script it’s important to remember to not open with anything too strong, in case the jokes later on are weaker.  Don’t set the expectations too high.  I think this opening joke works to that effect.  Now my mind is thinking, “It can only improve from here.”

Here is Sandler who plays the highest power agent in Hollywood.  We know that, because he just screamed it into the phone at Sandy, who he was talking to.

When he was done screaming, he wished Sandy a good 4th of July, then said, I love you, too.  This would have been a perfect joke if it had been his mom on the phone.

Here, he describing to his sons, who are busy playing a video game that looks like Grand Theft Auto, but isn’t, how to play Chutes and Ladders.  His sons are 12 or 13.  They are playing a violent video game.  He’s trying to get them to play Chutes and Ladders.  He tells them how him and his friends used to play in the basement on a cold winters day, while having cups of hot cocoa.

Surprisingly, they don’t throw anything at him.  Surprisingly, I am not using a word that starts with f or a word that starts with g in either of these sentences.

You know how a movie sometimes will be so bad it’s good, but sometimes a movie goes from being so bad it’s good, then back to bad again?  

Sometimes a movie just sucks.

I’m tapping out.  I can’t do it.