March 2011
105 posts
I almost wanted to see this show...
Fox sent me my latest The Scoop email describing their new show “Breaking In”.
Anyone else think Mia Wallace should be in it playing a character that tells bad jokes?
In the new workplace comedy BREAKING IN, premiering WED APR 6 at 9:30/8:30c, Christian Slater heads up a high-tech security firm that takes extreme —and often questionable —measures to sell their protection...
I hate it when things happen that I want very much to write about but cannot because I am too exposed. GAAAAA!!!
Richard Simmons wrote an article for CNN about how he felt when he heard George Lopez comparing Kirstie Alley to a piggy.
He explains his history…
“It was in the late ’50s that someone in my grammar school called me ” a big fat pig. ” At first, I did not know what these guys meant. But it did not take long to figure it out.”
For one thing, I hate the fact...
Today's Sales Guy Chatter...
“Hey. This might be something you want to poke your nose under that tent, you know?”
“Okay.”
Why Chutes and Ladders...?
Last night, I said I had made it through only five minutes of Grown Ups. I was not being totally honest:
Anyway…
This particular scene here has been causing me brain problems. I can’t get my head around why the writers would have chosen Chutes and Ladders as the game Adam Sandler is trying to get his young boys to play.
I understand the theme of the scene. The boys want to...
Grown Ups...
Okay. Fine. I was curious how bad this could possibly be. Seven seconds into the movie we get this:
This is Chris Rock’s character as a 12 or 13 year old boy. He is the black friend. But he doesn’t play basketball well. Get it? Hey come on. While writing a script it’s important to remember to not open with anything too strong, in case the jokes later on are weaker....
When I do stand up comedies, there is one joke that I have really liked doing. It is about the drive through window lady at the Dunkin’ Donuts near where I live. If you’ve seen me perform, you know the joke. If you haven’t, it goes something like this.
I like to go to Dunkin’ Donuts, not just for the obviously awesome food and beverage items that can be purchased there,...
Uh, oh... →
This shakes my belief structure. I guess now I’ll find out that hanging metal bull testicles off the back end of your truck is actually cool.
Why do people who obviously feel uncomfortable wearing jeans occasionally feel the need to wear them? I am uncomfortable in slacks, but occasionally I have no choice and MUST wear them. I don’t think it’s ever absolutely necessary to wear jeans for your job.
Unless you are a cowboy. The other cowboys would laugh at you if you wore Dockers.
Party, Party, Party... →
Being that it is Friday, I of course am thinking of Rebecca Black and the process of how, exactly one prepares a bowl of cereal.
I have nothing negative to say about the girl. Anyone who can take what must appear to be scorn from the ENTIRE world ,with grace, deserves our admiration.
However. There is only one person who should use the word party as many times in one song as she did. This...
Anyone have the math relating 9/11 Truthers and Creationists?
Inconsistencies...
My guest today is Glenn Beck. I’m having Glenn on my thing here to answer some questions I have about inconsistencies. Glenn, are you prepared to talk about inconsistencies?
Yes. Indeed. I am more than adequately prepared to speak to that which you speak of.
Okay… I am a little confused by two of the things you believe in. I was wondering if you could shed some light on...
Oprah has some sociologist or happyologist on that says having happy neighbors increases YOUR happiness by 34%. Not 35 or 37. 34%. I’d like him to show his work.
Sales Guy Talk:
SG1: “Done-zo?”
SG2: “Done-zo!”
SG1: “That’s the way you lay it down!”
SG2: “I know, right?!”
The Walrus...
I forgot to mention this the other night when I was doing the Paul McCartney Really is Dead review or whatever.
According to this story, Paul was the walrus. Why was Paul the walrus? I’ll tell you.
Because when the rest of the Beatles went to identify Paul’s corpse at the side of the road, his head was decapitated and his face was burned and smashed up pretty badly. Smashed up so...
Sounds like we got ourselves a back-end consumption issue, guy.
Buddy.
You better never do nothin’ I tell you not to not do!
edit- Of course I realize this is incorrect. I meant to type:
DON’T you never do nothing I tell you not to not do!
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
I have gay friends who I love dearly, but I don’t wanna see them sickos on my tee vee!- Victoria Jackson
I totally support the gay rights group demand that the Exodus International gay cure app be removed from Apple’s store. As long as they are okay with the anti-gay groups demanding that all apps with the word “fabulous” also be removed from the store.
There is a person walking around on my floor at work, lately, who looks very much like Arthur Dent from the 1980s BBC HGTTG series.
I have restrained myself from asking him if anyone has ever mentioned this similarity as I do not believe it is the most complimentary concept.
Perhaps I will leave him a cup of tea and a towel, just to see how he reacts. Maybe a bowl of petunias.
Maybe I should...
Damned 72 hour propagating DNS. Propagate faster damn you. Hold please.
I hope I don’t find out who’s banging on the walls. I don’t wanna go to jail..
Supermoon is where now?
Paul McCartney Really is Dead →
Just got done watching this documentary. I went back and forth about putting documentary in quotation marks. Netflix has it listed under Social and Cultural Documentaries as well as other headings with documentary in the title. Who am I to argue?
The movie opens with a shot of the studio building where it had been produced.
Fancy right? Not sure if it comes across in the picture, but it...
Listen
You can cool a nuclear reactor with a fire hose? Honest?
What is the connection between doing comedy and not taking care if yourself? Even at the non-level I’m at I’ve almost totally stopped going to the gym. If course it doesn’t help that going to the gym sucks donkey pieces.
